


Angel of the Earth

by boredom



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anathema Device Has the Brain Cell, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), BAMF Anathema Device, BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Human Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Rating May Change, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredom/pseuds/boredom
Summary: Crowley is a fast-living demon who has spent six thousand years on Earth. Alone. He spends his nights partying and drinking, with only the slightest amounts of supervision from his supervisors. He likes his life just fine, thank you very much. However, when a young witch named Anathema finds him and tells him the world is going to end, it's up to him and the Angel of the Earth and Guardian of the Eastern Gate to stop it. There's just one problem; there is no Angel of the Earth.Now it's a race against the clock to find an angel willing to go against the Great Plan and stop the apocalypse before it's too late. Can Crowley find such an angel? Or is he doomed to live in a post-apocalyptic hell scape for the rest of his days?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Angel of the Earth

One would think that the pen where God kept her new shiny humans would be better guarded. Sure, there were angels stationed at the West, North, and South Gates of Eden. They were all clad in armor with flaming swords blazing in the hot sun, ready to strike any unlucky demon that just happened to wander close enough to the garden. However, the Eastern Gate was conspicuously missing an angel. 

Crawly frowned as he slithered closer to the gate. Or, he would have frowned if he was able to. Being a snake, he didn’t have the correct facial structure that was capable of frowning. Still, he found it rather odd that there was such a weak point in the Garden’s defenses. Surely someone Up There would notice this and send down an angel at once. 

Could it be a trap? 

Crawly flicked out his tongue to smell the air. There were no angels nearby. The gate was missing a guardian, leaving it wide open for him to strike. 

He slithered into the garden and quickly found Eve, smelling flowers and eating the fruit. 

He was told, like all the other demons before him, to go up there and make trouble. As far as he could tell, he was the first demon who made it into the garden. Now the question was what sort of trouble did he want to make? 

He supposed he could always kill Eve, eat her right up and cause God’s new pet project to fail. 

He had a feeling that’s what Lucifer was aiming for. That didn’t sit right with him, killing humans. It was too evil, too simple, too… demonic. He wanted to do better than that. Crawly didn’t think such an easy task would do much damage. After all, Adam had plenty of ribs to spare. He wanted to be clever. He wanted to be smart. He didn’t want to be responsible for Earth’s first instance of first-degree murder. 

“Hello, I don’t recognize you. Are you new around here?” Eve said, finally noticing the six-foot-long snake slithering through the garden. 

“Yesss,” he hissed. 

“Oh, you can talk!” She was surprised. “None of the other animals can.” 

“That’sss becaussse I’m ssspecial.” Damn, he’d had to figure out how to not be a snake anymore. It wasn’t much fun and the hissing sounded ridiculous. 

“Sssay,” Why did so many words in the English language have the letter S? “Isss there an angel who ssstandsss on the Eassstern Gate?” 

Eve looked towards the East and squinted. “I don’t think so. I’ve never seen one, at least.” 

“I jussst thought it wasss odd that they would leave it unguarded.” 

“The Lord does work in mysterious ways,” she shrugged. 

Crawly (he’d have to change that as well) got an idea. Eve was a curious little thing, and naïve too. He didn’t have to kill her to cause trouble. He didn’t even have to do anything bad. He’d just have to tempt her, let her make the choice, and then have her deal with the consequences. 

“Ssso, sssince I’m new here, I wasss wondering if you wouldn’t mind showing me around.” 

“Oh, of course. It’s not very big, but I can show you some of the highlights.” She led him through the garden, pointing out various things. There were mostly plants, but a few animals were scattered about. 

“What’sss that?” he asked, noticing a large apple tree in the middle with a large DO NOT TOUCH sign next to it. 

“Oh, that’s a tree of forbidden fruit. We’re allowed to eat whatever we want except for what’s on that tree.” She turned and started talking about something called a pear. 

Crawley wasn’t interested in pears. “But why can’t you eat from it?” Hey, a sentence that didn’t have the letter S in it! 

“I don’t know, we’re just not allowed to.” Eve seemed a bit uncomfortable. Perfect. 

“Why not? What will happen if you do?” 

She didn’t say anything, instead, she shifted from foot to foot. 

“Aren’t you the leassst bit curiousss asss to why you can’t eat the fruit? Why would you be allowed to eat everything excccept for that tree? If it would kill you, why put it in the garden at all? And if it doesssn’t kill you, why can’t you eat it?” 

Eve bit her lip. 

“You want to eat it, don’t you?” 

“I have thought about it, once or twice,” she admitted, glancing over at the tree. “All the fruits are so sweet, I wonder what those red ones would taste like.”

Crawly slithered over to the tree and up the trunk, winding his way around one of the branches. He nudged his nose against one of the fruits, knocking it to the ground. Eve bent over and picked it up, turning it in her hands. 

“Go on,” he said, tongue flicking out, right against her ear. “Tassste it. Sssee what all the fusss if about. If She didn’t want you to eat it, She wouldn’t have put it in the Garden.” 

This seemed to be all of the convincing Eve needed as she bit into the fruit with a satisfying crunch. A bit of

Crawly slithered back down the tree. A bit of the fruit had fallen to the ground. Curious, he flicked his tongue out. A bit of juice landed on it. It did taste sweet, but there was something more about it. Something different. His eyes widened as he realized what had just happened and he slithered away from Eve as fast as he could. She didn’t seem to care about him and instead was turning to go find Adam, apple still in hand. Something unlocked in Crawly’s brain and his body started transforming growing arms, legs, hair, and wings. He stumbled out of the Eastern Gate and looked down at himself. He couldn’t remember who he was before he Fell, but he recognized this body. This was his body. 

A giant crack, like a whip, could be heard overhead. He looked up to see the clouds gathering and God’s voice booming down, asking what Adam and Eve had done. 

Crowley swallowed, intense guilt flooding him. 

“I didn’t make her do it.” He whispered. “It was her choice. Besides, who puts a bloody forbidden tree in the middle of a garden with a ‘Do Not Touch’ sign beside it.” 

The grew more fierce and the sky began to darken. He shivered and hunched in on himself as fat drops of water came pouring from the sky. At first, he was worried it was Holy Water and he would be melted into oblivion. However, his skin did not burn and his soul did not melt. His clothes and hair got soaked, however, sticking to his skin in a very uncomfortable way. 

He looked back up at the unguarded Eastern Gate. An angel had yet to appear there. 

He couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all part of God’s plan. Everything that had happened was too convenient, too easy, too lucky. 

“What game are you playing?” he asked the sky that did not answer. 

“Very good, Crawly,” a silky voice said from behind him. 

He jumped and turned to see Lucifer standing there. He was no longer the handsome angel he once was. His perfect body had been twisted and deformed. His skin was now scarred red. Ugly, great horns grew from his head. 

“And I see you’ve somehow regained a more human-looking form. How interesting.” 

“Yeah, I thought it would be a good idea to use the forbidden fruit to have them sow the seeds of their own destruction,” he said, uncurling himself to appear tougher against the freezing water that continued to rain from the sky. 

“And I see you killed the Guardian of the Eastern Gate,” Lucifer said, looking up at the great wall. 

“What?” Crawly turned to follow his gaze. He hadn’t killed an angel. But, Lucifer didn’t seem to know that. “Oh, yeah. I managed to catch him off guard. Easy really.” 

“A commendation, then, is in order. Two, in fact!” Lucifer laughed and clapped him on the back. “Showing that bitch that her perfect human creations aren’t so perfect after all was a great plan. You’re clever, Crawly.” 

“Thanks, my lord.” It didn’t feel like a compliment. 

“I want you to follow them.” 

“What?” 

Lucifer gripped his shoulder. It was painful. “I want you to follow those two disgusting humans.” 

“Why, though?” The deed was already done. He had already gotten them cast out from the Garden. What else could he do?

“You always did ask so many questions.” Lucifer sighed. “God hasn’t smote them yet. They’re not dead, which means they can still be corrupted. We might be able to corrupt them so much they come to our side. Imagine, Crawly, two new souls to help aid in the destruction of Heaven.” 

He could imagine it. He wasn’t sure if it liked what his imagination showed. 

“Of course, makes sense. I’ll just… be on my way then.” 

Lucifer clapped him on the shoulder again. “There you go. Now you’re seeing the bigger picture. Hop to it.” He turned and waved to him. “I look forward to seeing how many souls you can secure for our side, Crawly. I’m already planning for Armageddon. When the end comes, I want us all to be ready.” 

He sank back below the Earth, leaving a pile of charred rocks and the choking smell of brimstone lingering in the air. 

Crawly looked towards Adam and Eve, struggling up a dune as they left their first home and went out into the new world. 

“I have got to figure out a better name than ‘Crawly’,” he sighed before walking after them. There was the lingering taste of apple on his tongue. He wouldn’t tempt the two humans tonight. They had been through enough already. He’d wait a bit and get a feel for what was and wasn’t allowed. 

As he continued to follow Adam and Eve through the desert, he forgot all about the unguarded Eastern Gate, and the missing angel. He had bigger things to worry about, after all.


End file.
